Funny Things Only Parents Say

When you become a parent, a whole new world is put in front of you. On a regular basis or I must say an HOURLY BASIS no let me correct myself again on FEW MINUTES BASIS, you hear these sentences coming out from your mouth OUT LOUD which you would have never thought you would say.

Caution! If you are not a parent (or ever dealt with small kids) this may be too weird and awkward. So, here goes!

“Don’t put food on the floor.”/ “Are you eating food off the floor?” / “This is not food. Did you actually eat that?” Ewww…/ we don’t take our food to the toilet.”

Make something special for your child or give them something too much on like fruits, seconds you look away or move to the other room to get something they just throw that on the floor/mat/bed and god knows where. Reasons!! Still unknown!!! Or if anyone knows please share!!

“Don’t lick the wall. Don’t make me come and get you.”

The “wall” is also exchangeable with the door, window/railings, floor, table, Mum’s hair – whatever thing you certainly wouldn’t want to lick yourself. But you know the “damage” is already done. Once my husband and I heard ourself say “Don’t put the insect on your mouth” Yeah she has no fear of insects.  I’m just thankful we don’t have a furry animal! We had a fish tank and a turtle though. And my daughter had already drank the fish tank water!!! Ohhh there are endless things that I have said not to put in her mouth…

 “Don’t bring the dolly to bath with you.”

I say this including lots of other toys, t.v. remote, etc while getting my daughter ready for a bath with small floaty toys in it.

“Do you understand Bengali!”

When you go on telling/yelling the same thing repeated again and again, you start questioning yourself if your kiddo speaks the same language you do. Or is it just like a switch which works when your kid wants something??

“Why did you paint the T.V. in colors!!!?”

Give your kid some crayons to draw at the PAPER, then she’ll ask you for water to drink when you are back and i.e. for few seconds,  to see your T.V. screen in all colors. (P.S. My husband didnt knew this untill he read this post)

“What’s wrong with the veggies?” Asks every mom

“I am not talking to you until you wear your underwear.”

This sentence comes out of my mouth on a daily basis.

I’m certain there are countless more which I’ve forgotten for now but I’m pretty sure there will be many funnier bits in the future. Although there were few censored sentences that I have edited before posting this post, but I’d love to listen to some of your favorite, funny, crazy, weird, awkward and hilarious things parents say which come out of your mouth while talking to your kids.  Do share them in the comments section.


8 thoughts on “Funny Things Only Parents Say

  1. This post is full of cuteness and a reality check. I can understand how frustating it could be for being a parent especially a mother when responsibilty doubles. hats-off to you and to every mother.

  2. My mom used to say these things to me. But I’m teenagers now so… no more. Thanks for writing this adorable article .

  3. I taught infants at a preschool for many years, and my popular phrase was, “Love does not smother!” Babies can be pretty aggressive cuddlers, hehe.

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