Anxiety of Being a Mom: How I am Learning to Control & Calm my Fears
Welcome to the very first post of this blogchatterA2Z challenge. I hope you will enjoy this series of blog posts on “Motherhood Nowadays” and will learn something with me in this journey. Frankly I am not here to advice anyone as I am no expert but I am here to share experiences and raise questions.
In everyday life, there are lots of things to worry about. Family, work, health, friends, politics, economy, and the list goes on. By nature, if you are a worrier, it’s easy to get in a situation of increased anxiety most often.
And bring motherhood to the table, and you’re flying right off of the anxiety stats.
I have not struggled with the anxiety that much in my life before I became a mom. Nevertheless, after entering motherhood, I have come across a whole new bunch of topics that trigger my anxiety. Over the years and learning from our elders the truth, I have been able to encounter this motherhood anxiety and I am coping in my journey as a mom.
I have shared few thoughts which usually set off motherhood anxiety
1. Am I doing things right?
Nowadays, there are so many contradicting choices to make. Bottle or breastfeeding? Wean or not to wean after the first birthday? Crib or co-sleeping? Potty-trained or wait longer? Being a Hands-on mother or letting the baby to self-adjust? Social media, here, does help if we are facing any difficulty but how do you know what works for you and your kiddo, when others handle things differently and are so biased regarding their way being the ‘right way.’
Frankly, I have no idea what I’m doing! This has been one of the reasons I have stopped advising on social media.
Remember…There is no sole “right way” to do things.
You must choose what works right for your family, your baby, and you. And not that Instagram lady who is 24*7 online posting what you should do.
2. What’s wrong with my kid?
Whether the baby is reaching milestones on time or before time concerns all mothers, including me. But how do you differentiate what is standard and what is not?
Remember…Have faith in your mother’s instincts.
If you are not sure, talk to a medical professional. Dr. Google is there but instead of getting into a disaster, trusting your Doc. always works.
3. Mom guilt.
Work or not to get back to work after having the baby? Do I read him enough books? Do I play with him enough? Am I feeding the baby enough? My kid’s motors skill and sensory kills are developed or not? Am I handling the tantrums right? Am I parenting the kid right? Am I a good mom?
Remember…You are enough.
You are doing a grand job. You love your baby and vice versa. Just keep doing your best, every day is a new day.
4. Comparison to others.
This part is the worst. Other moms are well dressed, well-rested, better homemakers compared to me.” They have a better house, well-dressed kids, regular trips to exotic locations! Their kids pose better than mine!!
I should learn from them how to do that!! Right!!
Remember… All that matters is your life and your family.
Social media again plays the culprit here. Social media NEVER shows you the full story. There’s a lot more than the attractively captured photos.
If your kid is well fed, clothed, happy and loved, you’re rocking this mom stuff.
5. I must have another baby.
Is it the right time? What is the best age gap? Will the kids adjust to each other? And the list goes on…
For this one, I particularly remained self that “There is no simple way to explain this one.”
What must be done or not is to be decided between the spouses. As for the best age gap—this, of course, is a personal decision.
The bottom line is we need to stop seeking validation outside of our homes, our families and ourselves. What other mothers decide/prefer to do in their parenting journey is eventually their business. It doesn’t state your validation of being a good parent.
Some days are long and hard while some days are smooth as a cream. Let’s do our best every day and leave judgment, comparison, and guilt behind since they all are nesting sites for anxiety in motherhood.
Please share your thoughts on the post, I will really appreciate them. See you tomorrow with the letter “B”.