Yesterday, I wasn’t the mum I want to be. I was angry, unsympathetic, frustrated and of course, mean. My own complexity managing transitions (as my husband is on tour for few days and I am all alone to take care of my baby) and the pressure of parenting-managing the house chores- balancing work finally got to me. Did I manage it the finest way possible? No!!! Not at all.
Prior to my daughter, I had shitty days. Don’t we all? But ever since having a young one, the shitty days are worse.
Maybe it’s for the reason that the risk is believed to be so damned high. When I’m raising my voice too repeatedly and when my patience evaporates, I feel like I’m worsening more at my most imperative job rather having a simple, fleeting shitty day (you must be wondering why I am using the word shitty when I can use words like bad, awful, terrible, horrible etc…it simply because I felt shitty!!!) .
Or perhaps it’s for the reason that I can’t access the tools that helped me feel better similar to the time I could before my little one—I can’t just throw hands in the air and tell my daughter, that I’ll get you that snack in an hour or two!”
Eating food has been always a major concern for my picky and moody eater daughter as she has just maintained a borderline of the “standard weight chart”. So yesterday started off poorly. After trying to convince her to eat her breakfast and later lunch, she was not interested at all, I began to freak after lunch.
Insert those howling, crying, weeping and all the expressions related to it. Along with the non-functional logic.
Somehow we managed to finish a small section of her plate also all the crying and howling made her sleepy. As I tucked her to bed, she got up and then didn’t want to sleep at all. And at that moment, I lost my control and screamed at her.
I was not able to stop myself… and I suddenly hated myself for doing so. I felt so shitty!!! I felt terrible and defeated in that moment…and it was worse and awful than any other mistakes I have ever made. I burst into tears.
I told myself to stop yelling at her and practice more patience as I have too, I didn’t want to face that feeling again and moreover, I didn’t want to make things worse for her. When she got up in the evening, I took her for a walk (which she always enjoy), also needed to clear my mind, in addition, to making room for good times and hoped that when the sun comes up, we get to start again.
How do you work on “shitty” days? How have you turned a shitty day around?