Motherhood, Uncategorized

A Shitty Day!!

Yesterday, I wasn’t the mum I want to be. I was angry, unsympathetic, frustrated and of course, mean. My own complexity managing transitions (as my husband is on tour for few days and I am all alone to take care of my baby) and the pressure of parenting-managing the house chores- balancing work finally got to me. Did I manage it the finest way possible? No!!! Not at all.

Prior to my daughter, I had shitty days. Don’t we all?  But ever since having a young one, the shitty days are worse.

Maybe it’s for the reason that the risk is believed to be so damned high. When I’m raising my voice too repeatedly and when my patience evaporates, I feel like I’m worsening more at my most imperative job rather having a simple, fleeting shitty day (you must be wondering why I am using the word shitty when I can use words like bad, awful, terrible, horrible etc…it simply because I felt shitty!!!) .

Or perhaps it’s for the reason that I can’t access the tools that helped me feel better similar to the time I could before my little one—I can’t just throw hands in the air and tell my daughter, that I’ll get you that snack in an hour or two!”

Eating food has been always a major concern for my picky and moody eater daughter as she has just maintained a borderline of the “standard weight chart”. So yesterday started off poorly. After trying to convince her to eat her breakfast and later lunch, she was not interested at all, I began to freak after lunch.

Insert those howling, crying, weeping and all the expressions related to it. Along with the non-functional logic.

Somehow we managed to finish a small section of her plate also all the crying and howling made her sleepy. As I tucked her to bed, she got up and then didn’t want to sleep at all. And at that moment, I lost my control and screamed at her.

I was not able to stop myself… and I suddenly hated myself for doing so. I felt so shitty!!! I felt terrible and defeated in that moment…and it was worse and awful than any other mistakes I have ever made. I burst into tears.

I told myself to stop yelling at her and practice more patience as I have too, I didn’t want to face that feeling again and moreover, I didn’t want to make things worse for her. When she got up in the evening, I took her for a walk (which she always enjoy), also needed to clear my mind, in addition, to making room for good times and hoped that when the sun comes up, we get to start again.

How do you work on “shitty” days? How have you turned a shitty day around?

23 Comments

  1. These days are inevitable! Whether or not it’s parenting or just as a human being!

    Love sharing 💕

    1. Thanks for the read Christie!! Yes these days are indeed inevitable

  2. Please don’t beat yourself up. Parenting is hard. I’m working on this too. I notice taking a deep breath, smiling, walking away to gather my thoughts those things help. I’m dealing with a threenager so he picks up on my behaviors/reactions so I’m trying to be a better example. Lastly self care helps. Doing something for yourself makes a world of difference like going for a walk, a quick run to the store, a bubble bath or shower. Thanks for this authentic post.

    1. I agree with all what you suggested!! Have started one step at a time…Thanks for the read

  3. With 2 kids, I have had quite a few of those days! We love our kids to bits, but sometimes they try our patience. I once got told that if we be great parents 80% of the time then our kids will be fine. A few bad days and we are still parenting at 99%! You are doing a great job!

    1. Thanks Mylee!! It’s good to know that someone shares the same thought s…

  4. Really cute pics 😀

  5. These days are all a part of being a parent. Make sure to take that much-needed me time and you will see that it is all worth it.

    1. Yes… slowly I am getting that

  6. Aaaaw I totally understand. We all have those days and moments.
    I call myself a recovering shoutaholic.
    My son was also quite fussy but then I got a small muffin tray and made him muffin tray lunches.
    What I did was in each muffin cup I’d put a different snack, healthy things, then he had a choice, but that was it. He actually liked the novelty of it and he started trying different foods eventually 🙂

    1. I am also trying New things… because she likes to try new flavors and textures.. thanks for sharing your experience!!!it’s good to know someone on the same page..

  7. My children are now 31 and 34. I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home Mom, and understand just how difficult it can be. I can’t tell you just how important it is to find a way to take a deep breath or count to 10 before screaming at your daughter. This is NOT said in any judgement what so ever.

    I believe it is our responsibility to raise our children into happy functioning adults. So when my kids were little, I would ask myself if their behavior was a quality that would be good as an adult. Being strong willed, or making their own decisions is a wonderful quality as an adult, yet we are frustrated by it when they are little.

    It helped me, perhaps it would help you as well?

    1. Thanks a lot for sharing!! Yes I try this method too…and tell myself that this is just a phase…

  8. I so had one of those days last week. Actually, it was just the evening, but it was bad! I know the importance of Preframe, Reframe, and Postframe, but I was having a difficult time getting my mood to change. I just wanted to be left alone and not touched by my kids. I took some time to myself and remembered to breathe and was able to take care of them and keep my yelling down.

    I’m working on a new belief and mantra around loving that I have that time with my kids. It’s all in our mindset. 🙂

    1. Yes I agree with you girl!! Its all in our mindset…when we are all okay..the same activities may make us laugh or play with them but in bad mood..it will make our day or a part of day shitty

  9. Kim

    Wonderful article. I think all is moms can relate. Parenting little ones is trying at times ❤️

  10. Oh, mama, been there done that MANY times! You’re right, those awful days feel so much worse with a little one around, and we feel so guilty after we snap! When my kiddos were littler, I used to sometimes tell them that “Mama needs a time out!” and then once I knew they were safe (e.g., contained in their cribs howling), I would get as far away from them in the house as I could and work on a jigsaw puzzle for 5 minutes until I’d calmed down! It definitely helped! Hope your day today is better! *hugs*

    1. Next day was definitely better but they are still the same…I guess it is us who get into the zone of frustration…for that we have to take care of ourselves!! Thanks for the sharing…❤️

  11. We find that ever since we became parents…. the highs are the highest ever but the lows, can be really really low. What we try to do is like you did, take a deep breath and create a bit of distance from our children. Just a few seconds will work! Envision yourself in a tropical beach and step back into your shitty situation! Suddenly, it doesn’t seem as crappy 🙂

  12. Dan

    Love this! We all have these days it’s nice to know it’s not just me!

  13. Oh, I feel yah! I’ve been battling picky eating as well with my 19 months old daughter while my husband has been working late hours. I too, also feel shitty at the end of the day but what gets me through the middle of feeling shitty is to distance myself from the situation. I go to a quite corner of the house and do breathing exercises. Also not every minute is shitty so whenever I have a special moment, I try to take a mental note of that and feel grateful so I have a ‘deposit’ in my head that not all day is shitty! Good luck mama.

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