When you have you’re firstborn in the house, no one expects it to be easy. In those early days, you are in most cases checked frequently, family and friends offer you food and support. Some might even offer to babysit. You are excused from not calling anyone, not cooking a proper meal, even not cleaning the house, and so on. In a nutshell, you are surrounded by support.
However, as the baby turns toddler, expectation changes. Loved ones do check-up but not as often as it used to be. And babysitting dries up, I mean of course who would like a cyclone inside their house. People assume that you know your s**t and better off with what you have.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my kid very much, and now I just can’t imagine my life without her. But facing the facts is difficult. We Indians have a popular sentiment, I am not sure if you remember,
When in infant phase – Bas baccha thoda aur bada ho jae, fir koi tension nhi.
When in Toddler phase – Bas thoda aur bada ho jae toh samajhne lagega.
When in Preschooler phase – Bas ab toh school jane lagi hai koi problem nhi hogi!!!
When in the Gradeschooler phase – Let’s not talk about it!!
When in Teen Phase – Bas 10th or 12th ache se ho jaye fir toh koi tension nhi. Rest …Let’s not talk about it either!!
When in Young adult phase –
So this is a cycle that will never end studies, job, marriage, kids, and repeat!!
I am right not in the preschooler phase and I guess most of the mums will agree with me then it’s just getting thornier as you kiddo gets older. You have less control over your child’s every move such as the basic activities of the day feeding, bathing, and letting the kid sleep. This loss of control (which I feel is a negative word as I have realized that they are miniature – adult copying – human beings) and unclear expectations can lead towards Anxiety. And especially in these quarantine times, many moms including me have found themselves feeling overwhelmed and with less support to manage everything.
So in these 1500 days of my motherhood that I completed on 25th May 2020 (need I have to tell you why I am late), these are the things that I have learned:
- It’s okay to Feel Anxious
Being stressed and worried doesn’t mean you are not happy. Acknowledging helps make things better.
- Make time for self
Be that selfish mother who takes care of herself, because you know that you will take care of your child’s need naturally and not just as a DUTY.
- Watch out for avoidance
It’s essential to encounter your fears, instead of allowing avoidance to hold you from doing what you want (and need) to do. Moreover, as kids tend to mock up their parent’s behaviors so instead of avoiding things, framework effective coping for your kids by letting them see you encounter your fears head-on.
- Beware of the Internet and especially INSTAGRAM
Over the years I have learned that it’s okay to search something on the internet, but it’s not okay to rely completely on it, especially the moms who blindly follow moms who advise their on how do take care of your child in a certain way!! That information is completely unreliable for your situation. Moreover half of the time these moms have itself no idea what they are doing in reality and have copied someone else.
- Ask for help
The early years are tough and later when the child grows into other phases of life, every mom goes through another set of troubles. Keeping a close friend and family circle is important to keep the sanity and that they don’t need to endure them alone.
I am learning every day and I hope you are too!! I would love to know about your journey so far too. Also do let me know how many days you are in your motherhood in a fun way!
For now B Bye!!
Happy Mothering!! And be safe!!
Disclaimer: The day day count is just for fun, please don’t take it otherwise.